Dance
Memoirs of Another Love
Text: In the course of a career spanning over six decades, K Shivarama Hegde came to be acknowledged as one of the greatest exponents of the badagathittu style of Yakshagana.
Born in Keremane, in Honnavara taluk of Uttara Kannada on June 21, 1908, he gave his first programme when he was just 14. Coming from a poor family of Havyaka brahmins, he dropped out of school even before he could complete his primary education. Struggling hard to earn a living, he worked at various points in his life, as a bus driver, ticket booking agent and shopkeeper. He even taught himself to play the mridanga as a boy.
In 1934, he founded the Idagunji Mahaganapati Yakshagana Mandali, which remains one of the most famous melas. In 1965, he won a state award. Then came the Central Sangeet Natak Academy Award in 1970 and a Rajyotsava Award in 1985.
Nenapina Rangasthala is a candid account of his life in his own words, as told to G S Bhat. Recorded on tape 15 years ago, it was published only in 1996. The book has won fulsome praise in literally circles. This excerpt is from Chapter 7, called Olidu Bandavalu (The one who gave me love).
In Society's view, it was an illicit relationship. But it couldn't be that in my view and in the view of others who knew her closely. In Society's view she was a prostitute. Her name was Shivamma. She was basically from Haladipura of Honnavara taluk.
Once, there was a show of Karnaparva in Idagunji, I played Arjuna. She lived in the Bhandari house next door, and sent for me. I was very shy about women then. On Occasions when I came across a woman character on stage, I wouldn't even look at her full in the face and talk. I could barely manage the Sringararasa on stage. In her company, I was rid of my embarrassment and shyness - I started working uninhibitedly when I had to act out romantic scenes on stage. I cannot forget her role in helping me develop as a complete artist.
I was the shy type. Her servant came to me three or four times and pressed me to go and see her. I persuaded Yaji Bhagavataru to go along with me. We spoke of this and that "Come to my house in Haladipura," she said before we left. I said I would but didn't go at all. Finally, she came to our house herself. She cast a spell on Appa and Amma, impressing them that she was a very good woman.
I gathered that she had once chanced upon Mabla Hegde on the road, wept and expressed her unhappiness at my not having gone to see her. He did finally tell me. It seemed her sorrow had anguished him too. She had taken me to heart so much.
She embarked on a huge adventure to win me over. I was amazed. It must have been a predestined relationship. She put in the recommendation of Putsabhahit, who was a trustee of the Idagunji temple and a well-wisher. "Maharaya, she might take poison, go look her up once", he said. "Eh maharaya, I am scared. If I have to go to the hospital tomorrow I don't have the means to spend ten rupees. It's a shame, and it ruins the body."
That was a tune when all this was not prohibited. Rather, it was a matter of prestige. But what he said came true. Even though I had contact with her for a long time, I didn't get so much as a headache even once. Even at this age of 73, I am strong and healthy.
The two of us fell into a kind of madness. Even a considerable time after I got to know her, we had no physical contact. She had struggled for three or four years of my friendship. I have experienced many wonderful moments with her. Moreover, it wouldn't be wrong to say that she who was responsible for kindling my interest in my family. She had received lots of wealth from others. But she did not take a single paisa from me.
Once Jalisatgi and I had been to Bangalore. We had to catch a bus from there and reach Honnavara. As soon as we got off in Sagar, he tells me he has no money! I had just four or five rupees with me. The bus stopped there only for a short while. I told him I would get the money and dashed out. I ran to her house which was close by. "Ey punyathagitti, give me fifteen rupees urgently," I said. She gave it to me.
She had great affection, and respect, for my wife. when we went to see the Idagunji teru, she would take my wife along, buy her things, and leave after giving her some money. Even when my wife came to know about my friendship with her, she was not pained. This was amazing!
She had a similar sentiment towards my children. Once, when Shambu was in her house, he developed high fever. I was in the village and didn't know about it at all. She sat by his bed day and night and nursed him. She had cared for him so much. I have seen directly and indirectly, that my children and my family treated her with similar respect.
If she had been a housewife, she would undoubtedly have been an ideal one. Who knows what had happened in her past life, she had ended up as a prostitute.
The man who kept her officially was an Iyengar of Shimoga. He made her gold jewellery worth twenty to twenty five thousand those days. He bought her a place in Shimoga.
From what I gathered, she had herself arranged his marriage. The Iyengar couple were in Sagar, initially. Even if his wife had to buy a sari, she would accompany her. She would choose saris for both. I have never heard her speak a single irresponsible, mocking word. If for some reason, I spoke roughly to my wife, she would never quarrel with me. She never nursed intentions of separating husband and wife.
I was deeply pained when I heard the news of her death. I had planned to go and see her when she was lying very ill. But, as it was the time my second son had died, I would be shaken if I saw anyone lying in bed with fever. Moreover, I wasn't even stepping out of the house that time. In her very last days, I neither went to see her, nor did I know about her condition.
Initially, she hadn't told anyone about the tumour in her breast. When she visited our house, I believe she told my elder daughter-in-law. Gowri took her to hospital and got some medicine prescribed. I came to know of it only then. She had breast cancer.
I knew her financial position was not comfortable at all at the time of her death. she wouldn't in any case touch any money from me. Once when I went to see her I got to know that she didn't even have a blanket to cover her. I thought of a way: I bought a new blanket, pretended to use it for a couple of days and then left it there as though I had forgotten it.
Although the Iyengar who had kept her had given her some gold, he would take it away, pledge it time and again when he suffered losses in his business. He would redeem it and return it to her when things eased a bit. A few days before he died, he had taken the gold from her and pledged it. He died without being able to redeem it again. "I don't know whether I will be able to get back the gold in the near future. Keep this money for now., he said and gave her ten thousand rupees. Just two days before he died, he had taken back eight thousand of this amount. He died unexpectedly. She finally got nothing from him from her livelihood. He didn't intend to throw her on the streets, everything happened by accident. it was her misfortune. A few days after his death, they say she went to his wife, fell at her feet and begged her for help. But they didn't heed her words at all. If someone wrote about her life, it might become a beautiful story or novel.
Source: Deccan Herald
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